Randa M. Chance, MA, LPC Intern

I’d like you to ask yourself these questions: 

• Am I invincible?  
• Can I carry the weight of the world on my two shoulders?
• Is it healthy to say yes to everything and everyone?
• Will I live forever in this physical body?
• Can I fix everything for everyone else?  

Now, say these words to yourself:  “I am not Superwoman/Superman.”  

You’re not.  

You live in a fragile body composed of decaying tissue, and frankly, honey, you’re not getting any younger.  How do you propose to keep running at the speed of light all of your life without taking care of your container?  For that matter, why do you have to go the speed of light at all? If you don’t slow down, you will eventually burn out.  

We have to take care of ourselves.  It’s not selfish.  It’s called self care.  Sometimes we get so busy and overstressed that we forget to take the time to just slow down, regenerate and build up our reserves.  You can’t pour out of an empty bucket.  Think about this.  How often do you take your car in for an oil change or a tune-up?  What happens if you don’t?  If you take care of your car the way you take care of yourself, you just might end up a dead engine, and a useless vehicle.  It is critical to keep yourself tuned up. 

I’d like you to think of something positive that makes you smile and heave a big peaceful sigh.  What is that “thing” you enjoy doing that helps you relax and unwind?  Something that might seem unnecessary but lifts your spirits and creates memories.  That “thing” is your self care.  It’s your tune-up.  It’s not a luxury.  It’s not something to feel guilty about.  It’s a necessity.

Start small.  You can’t successfully run a marathon without some training, but you can start with 10-15 minutes per day and gradually build up from there.  You know what lights that spark inside of you, but if you’re stuck in a rut, here are some suggestions to stimulate your creativity and help you take a mini-mental vacation:  

• Call a friend.  Pick up the phone and call and make live conversation where you actually converse in your real voices. 
• Relax, reduce stress and lower your heart rate with some deep breathing.  
  • Close your eyes and place your hand on your stomach. 
  • Take some slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, and let your stomach push your hand out.  Don’t let your chest move.
  • Breathe in and out at least 10 times.
• Take a bath and shut your eyes for a few minutes. Light a candle and use some scented bath salts.  Don’t think about your day or any stressors.  Focus on how the water feels against your skin.  Think about your aches draining away.  
• Get centered.  Grounding yourself, particularly in stressful times, can help reduce that tension.  Step away and take a few minutes to simply focus on your five senses:
  • What am I hearing right now?  What are the sounds going on around me?
  • What are my hands/feet/body touching right now? Describe to yourself how that feels (i.e., how does my shirt feel against my skin/how this chair feel against my back/how does the wind feel against my face)?
  • What scents can I smell right now?  Describe those different smells to yourself.
  • What do I see around me?  Describe those things you see in vivid detail.
  • What am I tasting? Lick your lips.  Take a bite of food. Sip your drink.  Describe to yourself how it tastes. 
• Go for a 10-minute walk/jog/run without your phone.  
• Pray.
• Go outside and play with your kids.  Jump in the mud.  Stand in the rain.
• Play a musical instrument.
• Get a massage.
• Watch your favorite movie.
• Ride a motorcycle.
• Dance and jump around with your family or by yourself.
• Cook a new meal.
• Make a list of three positive things that happened today.  Meditate on those things.  
• Journal daily about things that make you feel grateful.
• Talk to a mentor/counselor/therapist.  We have no problem seeing a doctor to maintain our physical health.  Invest some time in your emotional health too and watch the positive changes in your perspective and ability to function. 
• Go thrift shopping. 
• Dig in the dirt.  Plant something.
• Play a game with your family. 
• Put your feet up and shut your eyes.
• Hug someone.  A good hug.  We need 8-10 positive physical touches per day to maintain physical and emotional health. Physical touch stimulates the release of oxytocin, a hormone that, among many other positive things, can contribute to relaxation and stress reduction.  
• Volunteer in your community.
• Paint/draw/sculpt a new piece of art.
• Write someone a handwritten card.
• Take a road trip.
• Go fishing.
• Write down your dreams and tape them up where you can see them.
• Walk barefoot in the grass.
• Talk to yourself in the mirror and point out some things that you appreciate about yourself.
• Go hiking, swimming, cycling.
• Exercise regularly.
• Visit your doctor.  Get the checkups.  Take care of your physical health.  
• Research free classes offered in your community and enroll in one that interests you.
• Try a new restaurant.
• Visit the beach/river.
• Turn off the TV and enjoy the silence.
• Call someone you’d like to get to know, and spend some time together.
• Take a nap.
• Talk to someone older than you and really listen to their stories.  Get some free wisdom.
• Attend an event from another culture.
• Take a vacation.  Get away from your normal surroundings.
• Talk to your neighbors.  Invite them over for dinner.
• Go to sleep on time.
• Eat healthy food.
• Take time to think about things that are asked of you.  Say no to the things that limit your ability to say yes to better things.

Why live life in constant crisis mode when you can live it abundantly and thrive?  Make a small goal to do something you enjoy, and do it this week.  You. Are. Worth. It.  

Do something that really fills your bucket.  It is essential to invest in yourself.  There is only one you.  You were created for a purpose, and your purpose needs you to be the best YOU possible.  

Self care creates capacity to do those things you are called to do.